ageing bath time best friend birthday books brushing teeth celebration child play fashion fear fighting with each other goldfish growing up hair happy with looks health holiday how children copy kumon learning new words living with guilt love mealtime with kids morning with kids music play date reading school silly talk with kids sisters sleep habits snow sorry swimming with kids teasers therapy thumb sucking weekend working from home
> iTunes on fire!
> Panda Victory
> Jump rope Stunt
> Death & Dying Fear
> Mozart, Bach or Brahms today?
> Lego comes of age
> Lip gloss affair
> Sisterly Love
> Ear pulling works!
> Cruising islands & streets
> Sit down to pee please!
> My twin sister
> Sorry but these are not for sale
> Boo boo
> When Kat met dog...
> Expression of love
> Puny is in
> Chewing gum & Stones
> Pain in the neck
> Kumon Sisters
> Is there a Gruffalo?
> Mission accomplished
> Sacrifice to God
> I spy...
> Don't ruin my life
> Thumb sucking - Yours or mine?
> Stomach Elly
> Mirror, Mirror on the Wall...
> Who is Baby #1?
> Apple of my eye
> Rocking with Sunglasses
> The 19th Wife and Weight Watchers!
Archives: July 2010
So yesterday when Kat when to the library, she very excitedly came back with an audio book The Lightning Thief and decided to play it on her computer while sketching. Unfortunately I wasn’t home so excerpts of my conversation with her when she called me on my cell in panic:
Kat: “Mummy, when I put the audio book CD in, it comes up with an error message!”
Me (thinking it has something to do with the Dell guy who tinkered with the system the day before): “Just press Cancel if it asks you to do anything. Wait for me.”
Kat (really panicking now): “But it has no Cancel. Only OK button”
Me (hating putting you in the corner situations like this): “Right. Just read the error message to me”
Kat: “It says it’s trying to open iTunes and some files for CD burning software are missing from registry.”
Me (phew! Not that bad): “Just OK it and see”
Kat: “Yes it works! Thanks mummy and…”
Me: “Yes? Quick. Hurry”
Kat (whispering in the phone): “Its not going to burn iTunes, is it?”
Me: “What?” (Then finally realising that children take words for their literal meaning so very easily) “Burn means to copy. No, nothing will burn” (hopefully!)
Kat was relieved then and I came back home to find her glued to the desk happily sketching with the unscathed iTunes playing the CD in the background…
Kat, being the older one is manipulative. She has all the nicer soft toys neatly stacked on the top of her study desk (she thinks this will keep them away from Kit’s reach?). Kit on the other hand has no preference – anything that Kat likes, she likes by default. It’s as simple as that! The instant Kat expresses feelings for any cuddly toy (and she does have preferences now that she’s 10!), Kit will immediately drop whichever one she’s holding and bond with the one Kat wanted saying “I love it so so much…”
Predictably, this will lead to arguments, snatching, tears…and even more online shopping!
Kat will always say something like “This is the only soft toy I love…so and so gave it to me and I really value it and now SHE has taken it” (glaring at Kit who will blissfully ignore her and whisper sweet nothings to her newly acquired victory and dramatise the whole thing to possibly anger Kat more?).
Every cuddly toy has a sentimental value for Kat – I wonder how she’ll ever get rid of them…
Today Kit has won a big Panda from Kat. To keep it safe, it has been further gifted to me (it gets very complicated to work here from home in the holidays!) – I have been given 2 pets to look after right next to my desk – Panda and Toot (some name for their baby elephant). Every now and then, Kit comes in to make sure they are safe with me and that Kat has not taken them away…to make her victory even more profound, she has Kat’s scarf around the Panda’s neck!
After several unsuccessful attempts at getting my attention, she decides to go back to her room. I keep the video monitor on (it’s comforting that way but now that she’s out of range it is beginning to worry me!)
Kit comes running to me finally (panting): “I need a jump rope.”
Kit: “So I can practice jumping”
When you are on the phone, you are really not in the mood to get into an argument with a 3.5 yr old that 7:30am is not the best time to practice jumping with a jump rope and definitely not inside a house! So I give in and this is what I see when I go to the cupboard to get the jump rope…
The step stool which is kept in the kitchen has been carried all the way to the storage cupboard and Kit has tried to stand on it and has even used her Tinker Bell brolly (usually hanging in this cupboard, now lying alongside the box at the top!) to bring the box with the jump rope forward. Maybe her aim was to somehow get the box down? And then what? Have it land on her head? This box at the top is quite heavy – thank God for little mercies!
Jump rope is down, step stool back in kitchen and Kit can be seen jumping in the video monitor. Phew! I’m left wondering if I should just forget about it all and drink that Baileys we have chilled in the fridge – it did say ‘With a hint of coffee’ on the bottle…I do feel I need a different sort of caffeine this morning!
Papa, our massage therapist, would sit by her bedside soothing Kat to sleep for as long as she needed him (some days sleeping with her when she was so very scared) while I read books or put Kit to bed early to make time for Kat (every little helps!)
After some CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) sessions to overcome the fear, we broke through. Little did we know that few weeks later we would be faced with a real situation – Kat’s best friend’s father was diagnosed with malignant brain tumour and we kept this from her for as long as we possibly could. Heart breaking it was but there was no way we could break the news to her – we just could not gather the courage to do it or face the consequences.
We finally broke the news to Kat over the weekend and her reaction was surprisingly calm. Maybe we underestimated her resilience? Was it our own feelings that we were worried about dealing with? Of course, she had some questions but they were the ones we could answer.
Kat still is sensitive and will worry but she is over the dying part – she does not get upset anymore when the fish die (so that’s also a good sign I think!) while Kit is constantly on watch for the fish to die as the lone survivor (our last fish) we have now is Kat’s and Kit is not happy!
At the back of my mind I know these worry genes in Kat are mine. Its interesting how being a mother changes everything…I can never show MY fear – I cannot tell her that I was too scared to get on a plane for a holiday alone with the girls with the fear that someone would blow it up and Papa would be left alone!
Last evening when a similar scene as above was enacted (Kit always likes an audience):
Kit: “Mummy, you like my song?”
Me (while clearing the room of toys, papers, dresses…): “I love it!”
Kit: “Does it make your heart come out?”
Me (now stopping to think): “What do you mean?”
Kit: “I mean does it make the pain go in and heart go out?”
Me: “Oh yes! It does”
Kit, then very satisfied with the success of her concert, finished her piece and came back to me to help me clear the remainder of her stuff while I wondered if it would be simpler for the pain to go out and the heart to stay in? Or maybe it’s just an adult thing – we always complain!!