ageing bath time best friend birthday books brushing teeth celebration child play fashion fear fighting with each other goldfish growing up hair happy with looks health holiday how children copy kumon learning new words living with guilt love mealtime with kids morning with kids music play date reading school silly talk with kids sisters sleep habits snow sorry swimming with kids teasers therapy thumb sucking weekend working from home
Archives: October 2010
I love you so much when the sky is grey
I love you the rainy days
I love you when the sun is bright out in the sky
I love you with 13 dollars
If you bring me something, I will love you more
I will love you if you bring me cuddly toy to sleep with
or a flower or a doll
Even when I get lemonade or
a box of teddy grahams
I love you with the heart of my singing voice
My mama and my papa.
Kit’s first poem about love to us. She insisted that I pick a paper and pen and just write whatever she was feeling as she could only talk, not write so fast! So these words are straight from Kit’s heart, completely unedited version of this beautiful love poem, to be treasured forever.
Their love for me is so predictable...always the same...UNCONDITIONAL. Then why do I sometimes lose MY temper and on occasions have confrontations with even a (not yet) 4 yo? I could learn a thing or two from my girls.
What amazes me is that children do not even care about their own pain, their own feelings so much...all they care about is YOU. The other day I had to raise my voice with Kit to get something done as she would just not listen (typical ignore mummy behaviour). She ended up crying saying that she was upset because I was not happy. There have been instances where she thinks “I am sad”, “I am upset” or “my feelings are hurt”.
Kat used to do (still does) exactly the same. Many times, they will not cry for themselves - they will cry for me and those tears hurt me the most - I WILL end up feeling miserable!!
Children ARE truly innocent and for them, it is so important to please their loved ones. Yes, right - the pressure back on me. So we end up making up with a kiss or a sorry or whatever to get rid of the bad feeling!
Whether it’s been a tiring day for them or a truly challenging one, their faces will light up when they see me...even if they are upset, there is a little extra effort required but there is always hope – mother’s love can always help. Where is the magic? Why is not hurting me so important to my kids? I (honestly) never think twice when I am angry and regret later (have to apologise to Kat – Kit is more forgiving – like...in an instant!!)
If our children have so much love for us, are so forgiving and hold us before their own pain and feelings, I feel ashamed sometimes about the way I interact with them. They seem far more mature then I am – more in control of their life! Discipline CAN be achieved by love alone – we just have to believe in it. Kids are amazing and so is our relationship with them...and a mother’s touch? No matter what...ALWAYS comforting and loving!
By the way, my girls have never been great sleepers as babies. I learnt one thing though - whether your baby sleeps in excess or not, you will always get abundance of advice which makes you question your baby raising skills (after just having got over the questions over baby bearing ones!) All said and done, Kit Kat have finally discovered the pleasures of peaceful sleep (sleep and let sleep!).
Coming back to ways of drifting to sleep - As a baby, Kat had this strangest habit of rubbing my skin before going to bed. This skin could be my hand, my arm, my anything! This rubbing would go on all the while I was reading books to Kat till the time she fell asleep! Sometimes, if I was sitting next to her and she was drowsy, she would pick my arm and start rubbing her tiny fingers over my hand. This rubbing matured into Kat sucking her own thumb and then eventually a soft toy in bed (still does - Oh! I mean the toy, not the thumb!!)
Now here comes the most funny candidate for sleeping aids: KIT! When she was a baby, she developed this sweet habit of sucking my finger to sleep...So sweet, I hear you say. Ok, agreed but that sweetness looks sweet and adorable only till your baby is really an infant – it starts to look weird once your baby get older. Kat loved my finger SO MUCH that she would just not let go...she started developing preferences for fingers (!) I thought this was our future and was finding ways to reconcile with it when she (literally overnight) decided to switch to sucking her own thumb – what a RELIEF!
Thumb sucking goes on full swing when Kit is tired and sleepy but the minute she lies in bed, she needs my EAR – yes, MY EAR and she pulls it in every possible direction! She says I have the softest ears in the world (is that a crime?) and she has to feel them. What do my girls have with feeling me, I fail to understand. Again, Papa’s ear is not acceptable and nor is anybody else’s – ONLY MINE! Kit is very specific – it has to be the ear lobe only as that is the softest part – when she goes back and forth rubbing against my studs, I am worried that my ears will now start hanging like the rest of my body (Oh dear!)
So what if Dumbo had magic ears, I have the softest ears in the world… She’s just still a child I tell myself – it is only LOVE!
The one thing I like carrying and care about are handbags – am I fussy? Depends how much time I have - although I think I lost the time luxury factor a few years ago. For me, it is important to have a smart handbag and my favourite brand is Coach. I always seem to find what I’m looking for – quick and easy. Bliss!
Here comes Kat into the picture – she seems to be an interesting mix of me and my sister. She has this passion for handbags (she has a pretty decent collection) but the FUSS with which the selection is made is how my sister used to pick shoes. I can’t help making the connection.
Kat has a selection of handbags which were of the ‘kid/maybe tween’ level – the most sophisticated ones being a Tommy Hilfiger and the latest a pink Juicy Couture from her Aunt. So when she went shopping for a Coach handbag for ME , it was heart breaking to see her look at the price tags of all the smaller handbags (her size) and then put them back instantly. I could see her posing with them in the corner of the shop too. So after I had selected mine, I had a quick word with Papa (who is the last person to object to anything for Kat anyway!) and we decided it was time to surprise Kat with her first Coach. So we started looking at the handbag section she was searching through at first and then we broke the news that she could actually buy one for herself.
Anyhow, breaking the news was simple – selecting the handbag was the big thing – Kat must have tried every handbag in the store before finalising (here she is slightly different from my sister who would try all the shoes and still move on to the next store in search of better buys – so bugging!) Also amazing is the patience that Papa suddenly showed abundance of when it came to Kat – he patiently selected handbag after handbag for her – asked her to pose in it while he commented – all the while I just hurried them along and panicked, in vain. All of this patience (of Papa’s) somehow vanishes when its my turn to buy things – Kit will suddenly turn wild, time will become precious in an instant, almost always parking will be an issue or Kat will be all around me hounding me why I am buying so many things when she has so few etc etc.
All okay and Coach is now HOME. Mine is slung on my shoulder carelessly for every meaningless errand –Kat’s coach is special...her new best friend. Stays in her closest most days – comes to life over the weekend and gets a lot of love.
Surprisingly Kit didn’t ask for one – she was content looking at herself in all the mirrors or maybe she was just in one of her forgiving moods – Time will tell...
When she was setting it all up –
Me: “Kit, what is all this mess? Can you please move it to your room now?”
Kit: “No, but I cannot. This is yours and Papa’s Destiny!”
Now, can someone argue with that??
After 3-4 days, Kit moves all the Destiny things back to her room…our room looks very spacious but I do miss looking after all the dolls and the occasional scolding from Kit about not looking after our Destiny!
Kit’s real name is not Kit and it’s not Destiny either but she (along with Kat) is truly such a significant part of ours!