ageing bath time best friend birthday books brushing teeth celebration child play fashion fear fighting with each other goldfish growing up hair happy with looks health holiday how children copy kumon learning new words living with guilt love mealtime with kids morning with kids music play date reading school silly talk with kids sisters sleep habits snow sorry swimming with kids teasers therapy thumb sucking weekend working from home
It's become a weekly ritual - we get on the bus and Kit knows that she has to find a seat and sit while I punch the card. Last Saturday, it was so hilarious - as we got on the bus, Kit wanted to sit on one of the front seats. Here is what happened next.
Kit: "Can we sit on these front ones - please, please , please?"
Me: "No. It's no point - these seats are for disabled people and if someone old gets on the bus, we'll have to get up. There are so many seats at the back, lets take those ones instead."
So we both, went at the back and sat down. I then told Kit, "when mummy gets old THEN we can sit on those seats at the front."
It was meant as a joke to get a conversation started but Kit on the other hand took it very seriously and remarked: "Actually mummy if you're lucky, it would be even better if you had a wheelchair because then you would get a seat even if one wasn't available as the chair ties on a different place"
What could I say??!!! Yeah Kit - looking forward to my old age!!
Every afternoon (after having ‘worked’ on her loose tooth for the majority of the bus ride) Kit would come running to me after school to show me the progress. It was actually adorable – the way she wouldn’t brush her teeth hard (I think that one might have been intentional!) or chew on that side. She wasn’t even happy about drinking, always fearing that she might accidentally swallow her tooth and then she would have nothing for the tooth fairy...
SO when it happened in the morning, Kit was overjoyed! From the moment she had noticed a loose tooth, Kat had given Kit her own tooth fairy box. Within minutes the great little tooth was wrapped up in tissue and placed inside the box – right next to the window (in case the tooth fairy lost her way and spent too much time looking for it!)
Kit kept on telling me all day how her friends had told her that the tooth fairy gives chocolate coins, so naturally I made a mental note to buy some before night so I could do the same. It was only around bedtime that I realised that I had forgotten to do the single most talked about task – I had totally forgotten about the chocolate coin!! Kat was very disappointed in me and when I put Kit to sleep, I had no idea what I was going to do...
As always, I got into the kitchen and invited food to talk to me. I know it sounds weird but sometimes I actually do that – when I have no way of knowing what to make for dinner, I open the refrigerator and the pantry and somehow can see food that I can cook by using what I have. I like to think these are the makings of a great cook but never the less, this saved me! When I opened the pantry, I immediately saw some Disney chocolates which had not been eaten (surprisingly) for a while. I knew I could not use these as such so I carefully took out the chocolate part and very creatively wrapped it in foil paper and voila the chocolate coin was ready!
Imagine Kit’s surprise when she found the coin in place of the tooth (it rests safely in my ‘baby’ drawer) – chocolate eaten, enjoyed and the whole adventure of the first tooth gone is over...I have to admit, Kit looks awfully cute with that little gap in her teeth!
Renal sonogram – no problem (Kit can get one done easily – no needles, no nothing - just some jelly belly!) scheduled for 9:30am. Now the grandfather of all problems was the first test called Uroflow fixed for 9:00 am. Basically this test involves drinking so many fluids that the stomach actually bursts, bladder is totally full and then Kit would have to sit on a computerised toilet to pee – as electrodes would be placed on her muscles etc. the computer would pick up the movements that needed to be recorded. Very intriguing indeed and when the doctor was explaining this to me, my mind was racing ahead thinking how on earth we were going to get this done...
So we get up this morning – 1 hour ahead of schedule and start the day at 6:00 am. All breakfast and pee times for Kit over by 7:30am. We had to leave for the hospital at 8:10 so for the 40 mins that we were free, I made her drink 2 bottles of water (very cooperative Kit I must say – she was kind of excited with how the test would turn out!) Then we started our walk to the hospital. On an extremely cold day, Kit is inspired to run as she gets warmer this way...so half way to the hospital, we make a stop and she gulps down a bottle of cranberry juice (bless you Kit!). We finally make it to the hospital and the technician looks like a very decent guy. When you have kids, especially in such delicate tests, your brain sub consciously filters good people from bad people (in terms of who can tolerate your child and their tantrums). Kit is ready to go but when this good guy does a quick ultrasound to see the bladder, he says “No, she’s not ready. She is only a quarter full!”
With all the talk about water and bladders, I am ready to go myself but poor Kit is asked to hold back for some more time while the water travels through her body to settle in her bladder. After 10 mins, it's round 2 and Kit is better than before but still not sufficiently enough for the test. My iphone comes out and I try to distract Kit with some ‘Fruit Ninja’ while she constantly complains of a belly ache. After 5 mins, she is FULL (officially as well!) and after the electrodes are placed, she is ready to go! On the toilet, the techie asks Kit to hold it one last time while he fiddles with the keys on the computer...Kit gets the go ahead and she empties her bladder TOTALLY and guess what? The uroflow did not register!!!!! Some ‘technical’ error did not record the flow readings!!! How cruel is that?? There is no way on earth I can get Kit to drink more at this stage and we head off to the sonogram which (thankfully!) is not so dramatic as this one.
Back to school after an unsuccessful attempt, Kit is still happy and cheerful…I, on the other hand am very upset with how everything turned out today…cannot psyche myself into doing a repeat of this another day…waiting to speak to the urologist!
Kit Kat go to the same school (different divisions and different buses) and although Kat’s is much further away than Kit’s (for a couple of years at least), that does not stop Kit from complaining that she gets hungry on the way back...the school has a "No Food" policy on the bus and I have always stuck to that. Now here comes the problem – I am one of the many mums who will comply with what the school says but when your kid comes across a happily munching kid on the bus, you are in for some serious conversations! While Kat (now of an age where she understands right and wrong...well, I hope!), I am often faced with heart breaking questions from Kit.
Kit: “Why does ABC get candy on the bus and you never allow me?”
Me: *sigh* “Kit you know you are not allowed to carry food. It’s dangerous to be eating when the bus is moving and there is no adult around you. ABC is NOT doing the right thing.”
Kit (sounding hurt): “But she still eats it and I can’t. One day I asked her for candy and she said no”
Me: (this one really breaks my heart – how can someone whose parents are doing the wrong thing be able to hurt MY child’s feelings!) I still go on… “You have to understand Kit. You don’t have to ask her, if you need something, you ask me when you get home” (the bus ride is not more than 15 mins for Kit)
Kit is not fully convinced (I can figure that one out) but turns away and changes the topic. What did I just become? A monster? A horrible mum who allows her baby to look at other kids eating on the bus and whose little girl wishes she had the goodies? Is it ok to be so righteous all the time? Is there an easy way to explain to a 4 yo that what everyone on the bus is doing is wrong but your mum is right?
It angers me when I see how other parents cannot relate to this. Who in their right mind should send a 4 yo with chewing gum on a school bus? I mean it can truly become a choking hazard - are they not aware of that? Are these the parents who are always eager to do everything/anything for their kids because they don’t have time to talk to them or reason with them? It would be so easy for me to send Kit with a little snack for the return trip and that would be the end to all this moaning but then I ask myself “Is that the right thing for me to do for her?” “Am I teaching her not to obey the rules by setting an example myself?” Kit may ‘like’ me more in the short term (if I agree to everything she says) but I am confident that in the longer term, these values will become second nature and she will respect me for that.
Kit has also witnessed me complaining to the Transport Director about this issue and only yesterday I brought it up with the bus driver who has promised this will never happen. So I hope this will teach Kit to fight for the right cause and be strong(er) in the years to come.
Kat took some time to understand the ‘rules’ but now knows very well that I will not stand for anything wrong and this has helped her become much more assertive in her dealings with others. Even if my righteousness brings only an iota of benefit to my girls, I am willing to stick with it.
We have a huge responsibility of instilling virtues in our kids and any parent knows how much hard work (with very little reward, if any) it is. This does not mean we back off – this is our job. Period.
We all know that food always tastes nicer with friends so it does break my heart a bit when Kit comes home and says that she now loves cauliflower and I think of the endless moments spent trying to make cauliflower attractive... where did I go wrong? Never mind, at least she eats is somewhere! Same with asparagus – I got so excited when she said she loved it that I decided to steam it right the next day...Kat was eager to try it too. I order groceries online so sometimes portions are a surprise – I didn’t realise a bunch could have that many stems! Anyhow, determined to steam that, I served it all up and they did look pretty in their beautiful green glory but I guess the portion size scared the two girls!!
One look and Kit said: “I just tried one in class and I loved it – I can’t eat so much!!” My heart sank.
Now it was Kat’s turn: “Can I just try one first?” She did and she gave me that sideways secret look (the one she uses to show her dislike when Kit is eating). I died.
Will try another time – I promise!
It is wonderful to see Kit come home excitedly with a sticker that says – I tried a new food today and I loved it! Other days I need to jog her memory to remind her what she ate for lunch and she will describe a new food to me: “we ate something white sauce with carrots” so I know it is ranch dressing – FUN game!
Yesterday was classic. She was sitting on the potty when she called me “Mummy I tried something new for lunch today.” All smiles for me!
Me: “Really? How wonderful! What was it?”
Kit: “Something yellow orange, very sweet. I know – I ate antelope today!”
Me: “Antelope? That’s an animal. Did you eat cantaloupe?”
Kit: “I think so it was antelope” At this point she looks very serious and nods her head. She is convinced she ate one!
After much fruit recognition (it’s not easy to convince Kit) she is content to note that she ate cantaloupe. To change the subject I casually look at her lunch menu and say “Tomorrow you will eat chicken wings”.
Kit immediately gets up from the potty – “Why? Why are we eating chicken wings?”