Kit for Kat!
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Feeling totally out of sync I answered : "No, has anything changed since last month?"
She said it was a brand new message and the way she smiled made me think Kit must have disclosed some family secrets (she's brilliant at that!) - my heart beating fast I went to the 'wall' and saw this beautiful message from Kit about her family.
Renal sonogram – no problem (Kit can get one done easily – no needles, no nothing - just some jelly belly!) scheduled for 9:30am. Now the grandfather of all problems was the first test called Uroflow fixed for 9:00 am. Basically this test involves drinking so many fluids that the stomach actually bursts, bladder is totally full and then Kit would have to sit on a computerised toilet to pee – as electrodes would be placed on her muscles etc. the computer would pick up the movements that needed to be recorded. Very intriguing indeed and when the doctor was explaining this to me, my mind was racing ahead thinking how on earth we were going to get this done...
So we get up this morning – 1 hour ahead of schedule and start the day at 6:00 am. All breakfast and pee times for Kit over by 7:30am. We had to leave for the hospital at 8:10 so for the 40 mins that we were free, I made her drink 2 bottles of water (very cooperative Kit I must say – she was kind of excited with how the test would turn out!) Then we started our walk to the hospital. On an extremely cold day, Kit is inspired to run as she gets warmer this way...so half way to the hospital, we make a stop and she gulps down a bottle of cranberry juice (bless you Kit!). We finally make it to the hospital and the technician looks like a very decent guy. When you have kids, especially in such delicate tests, your brain sub consciously filters good people from bad people (in terms of who can tolerate your child and their tantrums). Kit is ready to go but when this good guy does a quick ultrasound to see the bladder, he says “No, she’s not ready. She is only a quarter full!”
With all the talk about water and bladders, I am ready to go myself but poor Kit is asked to hold back for some more time while the water travels through her body to settle in her bladder. After 10 mins, it's round 2 and Kit is better than before but still not sufficiently enough for the test. My iphone comes out and I try to distract Kit with some ‘Fruit Ninja’ while she constantly complains of a belly ache. After 5 mins, she is FULL (officially as well!) and after the electrodes are placed, she is ready to go! On the toilet, the techie asks Kit to hold it one last time while he fiddles with the keys on the computer...Kit gets the go ahead and she empties her bladder TOTALLY and guess what? The uroflow did not register!!!!! Some ‘technical’ error did not record the flow readings!!! How cruel is that?? There is no way on earth I can get Kit to drink more at this stage and we head off to the sonogram which (thankfully!) is not so dramatic as this one.
Back to school after an unsuccessful attempt, Kit is still happy and cheerful…I, on the other hand am very upset with how everything turned out today…cannot psyche myself into doing a repeat of this another day…waiting to speak to the urologist!
The recent craze in our house is Kat’s invitation to a Bat Mitzvah – I have heard that it is the most important event for a Jewish family. We’ve never been to one (since it is celebrated when a girl turns 12 and now Kat’s friends are reaching this milestone slowly). I have no doubt that this is big deal for the family involved but in our house, this first Bat Mitzvah for Kat’s friend is such a big deal, I mean SUCH A BIG DEAL! We have had numerous discussions on the gift (Kat comes up with a gift idea almost every single day after some conversations with friends). A dress in white was specifically bought for this occasion and only recently have the golden ballet flats arrived. There were talks about getting hair done but I think Kat realised she was pushing me too far and she has forgotten this for now (I hope!)
At one point, Kat got so carried away with all the fun her friend was going to have, she asked me: “Mummy, can I have a Bat Mitzvah?”!! I almost fell off my chair...
Funny enough, Kit has not realised all this fuss (yet!) – once she figures out that Kat is going for something special, there will be confrontations and arguments about why her friends do not have Bat Mitzvahs yet (they’re only 5 year olds now!) and that IT IS NOT FAIR!!
Updates on the dress and shoes next...
Sometimes I ask myself and wonder – has she already been ready for this and I have never let go? Quite possible but there is always time for change and I feel we both are ready now – she is adapting and so am I. Guess there is no real time frame for such things – it just happens when you are ready.
Papa is always the one to push us along with morale and confidence boosters – he came up with the ‘That is the person I want to be’ saying which is now pasted in Kat’s room alongside Selena Gomez and Taylor Swift – very apt for these ‘growing up years’ for Kat as what she learns now leaves an impression forever.
With growing up, come more emotional breakouts, need for frequent reassurances that all will work out fine. We’re working on it...getting there very slowly.
As for Kit, she is always ready to find mistakes in Kat with comments “Why has Kat not cleared the table yet?” or “Look, her clothes are still on the floor!” or the classic “Why is she not listening to you? It’s ok, I will do this for you mummy.”
Kit Kat go to the same school (different divisions and different buses) and although Kat’s is much further away than Kit’s (for a couple of years at least), that does not stop Kit from complaining that she gets hungry on the way back...the school has a "No Food" policy on the bus and I have always stuck to that. Now here comes the problem – I am one of the many mums who will comply with what the school says but when your kid comes across a happily munching kid on the bus, you are in for some serious conversations! While Kat (now of an age where she understands right and wrong...well, I hope!), I am often faced with heart breaking questions from Kit.
Kit: “Why does ABC get candy on the bus and you never allow me?”
Me: *sigh* “Kit you know you are not allowed to carry food. It’s dangerous to be eating when the bus is moving and there is no adult around you. ABC is NOT doing the right thing.”
Kit (sounding hurt): “But she still eats it and I can’t. One day I asked her for candy and she said no”
Me: (this one really breaks my heart – how can someone whose parents are doing the wrong thing be able to hurt MY child’s feelings!) I still go on… “You have to understand Kit. You don’t have to ask her, if you need something, you ask me when you get home” (the bus ride is not more than 15 mins for Kit)
Kit is not fully convinced (I can figure that one out) but turns away and changes the topic. What did I just become? A monster? A horrible mum who allows her baby to look at other kids eating on the bus and whose little girl wishes she had the goodies? Is it ok to be so righteous all the time? Is there an easy way to explain to a 4 yo that what everyone on the bus is doing is wrong but your mum is right?
It angers me when I see how other parents cannot relate to this. Who in their right mind should send a 4 yo with chewing gum on a school bus? I mean it can truly become a choking hazard - are they not aware of that? Are these the parents who are always eager to do everything/anything for their kids because they don’t have time to talk to them or reason with them? It would be so easy for me to send Kit with a little snack for the return trip and that would be the end to all this moaning but then I ask myself “Is that the right thing for me to do for her?” “Am I teaching her not to obey the rules by setting an example myself?” Kit may ‘like’ me more in the short term (if I agree to everything she says) but I am confident that in the longer term, these values will become second nature and she will respect me for that.
Kit has also witnessed me complaining to the Transport Director about this issue and only yesterday I brought it up with the bus driver who has promised this will never happen. So I hope this will teach Kit to fight for the right cause and be strong(er) in the years to come.
Kat took some time to understand the ‘rules’ but now knows very well that I will not stand for anything wrong and this has helped her become much more assertive in her dealings with others. Even if my righteousness brings only an iota of benefit to my girls, I am willing to stick with it.
We have a huge responsibility of instilling virtues in our kids and any parent knows how much hard work (with very little reward, if any) it is. This does not mean we back off – this is our job. Period.