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Tag: how children copy
I think I may have got away to some extent with Kat with my I know best, it’s the first child authority. But secretly in my heart I know that we overprotected Kat. I know we should not make the same mistake with Kit but it just tends to happen with me. Here is when Papa steps in…he will not let it happen – but then, Kit will never let it happen too! Such an explorer, such an adventurer she is!
The rides Kit was on yesterday had my heart in my mouth all afternoon. I was watching the attendant more than the ride thinking “does he/she look like the kind of person who will stop the ride for my child in an emergency?” There was one ride (see image) which was a Carousel gone way too far (and there were no horses either!) – Of course Kit had to do the ride because Kat said she loved it but once seated you could see she was a bit uneasy (she’s only 3.5 yrs old and everyone else on this humungous swinger looked 9+). Kit uneasy, mummy crazy! I could not stand still for the remainder of the ride.
Kit was unsure at first – her expression changed from joy to surprise to shock to unbelievable (this centrifugal force causing her to feel almost dropping out of the ride!) to ecstasy and then the PRECIOUS SMILE !! In the meantime, all I could think of was her seatbelt breaking somehow, Kit flying off, ride malfunctioning, glaring and wondering why the attendant was smiling when he should be glued to the equipment he was supposed to start and stop!
Kit Kat did this ride several times again and I finally let go of them in the last few rounds after convincing myself that nothing bad was going to happen and that maybe Kit was now ready for these rides…Have I learnt anything from this weekend? Possibly. Will I let her be herself again on other bigger rides? Not sure. Do I need to grow up and let go of my fears? Absolutely!!
Kat, being the older one is manipulative. She has all the nicer soft toys neatly stacked on the top of her study desk (she thinks this will keep them away from Kit’s reach?). Kit on the other hand has no preference – anything that Kat likes, she likes by default. It’s as simple as that! The instant Kat expresses feelings for any cuddly toy (and she does have preferences now that she’s 10!), Kit will immediately drop whichever one she’s holding and bond with the one Kat wanted saying “I love it so so much…”
Predictably, this will lead to arguments, snatching, tears…and even more online shopping!
Kat will always say something like “This is the only soft toy I love…so and so gave it to me and I really value it and now SHE has taken it” (glaring at Kit who will blissfully ignore her and whisper sweet nothings to her newly acquired victory and dramatise the whole thing to possibly anger Kat more?).
Every cuddly toy has a sentimental value for Kat – I wonder how she’ll ever get rid of them…
Today Kit has won a big Panda from Kat. To keep it safe, it has been further gifted to me (it gets very complicated to work here from home in the holidays!) – I have been given 2 pets to look after right next to my desk – Panda and Toot (some name for their baby elephant). Every now and then, Kit comes in to make sure they are safe with me and that Kat has not taken them away…to make her victory even more profound, she has Kat’s scarf around the Panda’s neck!
Last evening when a similar scene as above was enacted (Kit always likes an audience):
Kit: “Mummy, you like my song?”
Me (while clearing the room of toys, papers, dresses…): “I love it!”
Kit: “Does it make your heart come out?”
Me (now stopping to think): “What do you mean?”
Kit: “I mean does it make the pain go in and heart go out?”
Me: “Oh yes! It does”
Kit, then very satisfied with the success of her concert, finished her piece and came back to me to help me clear the remainder of her stuff while I wondered if it would be simpler for the pain to go out and the heart to stay in? Or maybe it’s just an adult thing – we always complain!!
Kit: “Are you lying to me? Tell me the truth.”
I find this very amusing because only the other day I caught Kit with a shark (toy one!) in her mouth in the bath and when I asked why she had put it in her mouth she said she hadn’t and we had a complete lesson on telling the truth and being honest etc. So here is little Madame trying to copy me with our babysitter!
I decide to peep in her room and here is what I find : Kit is perched at the top of the ladder of her bunk bed (top bunk now used only for toys as Kat decided she was too mature for bunk beds or even to share a room with Kit) comfortably seated on the top bunk. Babysitter sitting with a book and a bowl of Kiwi. She is having a laugh as she tries to pronounce ‘truth’ – our babysitter is Spanish and the t and r does not come naturally to her so she is having fun trying to say it together! Kit on the other hand is furious as she is losing her handle on this conversation when the babysitter laughs.
Kit then confirms with me if the babysitter is telling her the truth that eating Kiwi will make her hair grow long and cheeks pink? Well, well, well…here we go again! Don’t feel so good twisting benefits of a Kiwi for her just now (have done it for so many fruits and veggies for the last 10 yrs) especially when I know she doesn’t like Kiwi and is demanding the ‘truth’ up front!
…she is now happily munching an apple (still up on the ladder I think) while the babysitter reads a story from below!
Me: (Noticing that she is almost on the brink of finishing all of it)“Can I have some of it?”
Kit: “Sure” (She does talk like an adult, doesn’t she? Sometimes she'll even add Baby after that!)
Kit hands me the bottle and then sits and waits on that little chair of hers in front of me (a few steps away). I drink a decent amount (thinking I’m not going to get anymore) and then hand the bottle to her sitting down. As she is sitting, she cannot hold the bottle without either of us getting up to pass the bottle around. She surprises me by saying:
Kit: “Do you have any legs? Do they work?”
Without waiting for an answer, she continues…”Then get up and give it to me…come on”
I sit there spell bounded. She says this in a nice and gentle way and not in a mean way. The funny or the scary part is that she sounds JUST LIKE ME (except that she doesn’t sound mean like I must do!) This is exactly what I told Kat the other day when I was getting her used to keeping her bowls in the kitchen sink after she had finished eating fruit etc. WOW! This is how they copy and so quick!! I am amazed – she has used just the right words, right tone, everything – such fast processing! Have to watch what I say next…